My Joan
by sueysuey
Summary: God is more human than He makes out to be. Read and Review! flame all you like


tonigh"NO! NO! Help! Put me out! Put me out!". Joan woke, she heard her brothers' screams in his sleep again. She grabbed her pink night coat and opened the door to find the lights on and her parents in Kevin's room.

 Kevin's eyes were wide open, he was breathing heavily as if he'd just finished a marathon. She saw her father getting a glass of water, and her mother hugging Kevin. Joan felt tears pricking her eyes, but she never cried, she's not the type to do so, though, now, seeing what her brother was in, really made her angry, angry and sad. She turned back, to find her window open, and her light curtains waving in the slight breeze. She shut it and sat on her bed – still half asleep – only see someone already on it. 'God', she thought, she closed her eyes and lay down. God was in his 'cute boy' look. Joan opened her eyes and said slightly annoyed, "Why are you here, right now? Why can't you 'appear' to Kevin and help him?" she sat up and said, "Anything to say? Yeah? No?", God just sat on her bed giving her the usual, 'you know it doesn't work that way' face. He looked around her room, scanning; He spoke suddenly after a long silence. 

"You're so much like her." He sighed, not His light, usual 'know it all' self. Joan sat up and whirled around confused. 

"What's that supposed to mean? Like her? What are you talking about?" God sighed again, He turned to Joan and smiled, also in a 'not like Himself' kind of way, 

"Like Joan." He said simply as if it was the easiest thing to understand. Joan didn't say anything, just a look on her face meaning – WHAT? … God stood up, "She was so brave." Joan flopped back and sighed, waiting for a few more clues. It was late, and she didn't like getting riddled during sleep time. "Joan of Arc… My Joan," God breathed, "do you know of her?"

Joan opened her eyes wide, "Whoa… what?" she sat up (suddenly realising who He was talking about), bringing her face to face with God Himself, "Are you saying… I'm… me, Joan… is, was… like Saint Joan?" she stammered.

God nodded, "Yes," He smiled to Himself, "same stubbornness, strangeness,"

Joan stifled a laugh, "So… what's this getting to? Look, God, I'm real tired, I'm sure this could wait, it's 3am…" she told Him, flopping back on the bed. God slowly bent over Joan, face to face again, but this time, they were less than an inch apart.

"Same hair… same eyes…" Joan blinked uncertainly… staring into His eyes in the dim light,

"What are you saying…" she began,

"Same lips…" He cut in… and their lips met, Joan's eyes became wide… then soft… His kiss became more powerful and more wonderful than Joan could ever have imagined… the perfect kiss. Then suddenly, He broke off, still staring into Joan's bewildered eyes, and slightly parted lips, He quickly got off. Joan opened her eyes and said,

"Wait… I don't understand." God turned His back to her and said, 

"Sorry Joan,"

"Wait!" Joan pleaded, a short breeze in her little room made Joan's hair blow in her face. By the time she had quickly pushed it back… He had gone. Joan's thousands of thoughts and questions suddenly disappeared as she fell into a deep sleep… almost magically.

~

Everything was bright, a golden, perfect sun was in the clear blue sky. Greener than green grass carpeted the open moor. Two young lovers were walking in this, 'heavenly' place.

 Joan rubbed her eyes, trying to make sense of this place. Giving up, she focused her vision on the young girl. She had long brown hair which was wrapped in a plaited coil on top of her head, and then let loose, falling down her back. Joan stared… and almost screamed in horror… it was her! No… this girl just looked like her, it wasn't her… it couldn't be her… get real! She tore her eyes away from her look-alike and focused on the boy, or man, rather. He too, had brown hair, only, it was shorter, and his face looked a little familiar… OH! Joan's heart stopped for a moment… GOD!

 Joan watched as the couple stopped, turning to each other, and sharing a passionate kiss. She watched the way His lips moved, Joan could almost feel its softness on her own… She began to walk towards them… for no reason… just walking… a short breeze made her hair get into her face, and as she brushed it out, she found that they had gone. She turned, looking to see where they were, but instead she felt a warm hand on her shoulder, she turned quickly to find the God she knew… brown coat, brown hair… brown eyes…

Joan sighed, "So… what does this mean?" Joan asked Him. He wasn't smiling nor He was frowning, simply, there…

"You know." He said. Joan felt fire in her… she was suddenly angry,

"NO! I don't!" she shouted… God's face grew worried…

"Oh… my Joan…" He touched her cheek… "My Joan…" He kept saying… Joan just didn't know what to say or do, she felt as if she had been found, and almost saved… but yet, unreachable…

"Is this a dream?" she asked softly, trying to change the subject. God smiled,

"Yes, no… it is a slice of the past… the pasts' dreams… Your pasts' dreams…" He stepped back. Joan stepped forward,

"Why am I…" she stopped… "I know why…" and stopped thinking, she took His face into her hands, and kissed Him… for what seemed like an eternity.

~

Joan woke to a loud THUD and CRASH. She quickly grabbed her night coat and dashed down the stairs to see what was going on. She ran into the living room to find her brother, Kevin, on the ground, by the coffee table… or, half of the coffee table. "Kevin! what happened?" he was out of his chair, trying to get back on. Joan rushed to help, pushing the half coffee table aside. Kevin was looking down, a sad look, wordless, clearly disappointed and sad.

"I, I thought, thought I could do it… but I guess, all I can do is smash coffee tables in half." He said half smiling, in a croaky voice.

"Oh Kevin…" Joan said, helping him into his chair again, "don't worry, I'll clean it up." She said softly. Kevin just nodded quietly, not saying anything.

~

"JOAN!" Joan heard her mother shout suddenly,

"Coming mum." She walked into the living room to find her mother standing by the coffee table, or half of the coffee table. Everyone was out of the house, Kevin driving some where, Luke… Only God knows. Joan chuckled to herself, yes that's very true.

"Joan, what happened to the coffee table?" her mother calmly ask, she didn't look angry, or maybe but Joan didn't know,

"Kevin, before, tried to…" Joan mumbled a little, her mother unsatisfied said,

"Kevin tried to what?"

Joan breathed, "he tried to walk, by himself, I helped him up again when I found him. Sorry I forgot to clean it up." Joan bit her lip guiltily. Helen's eyes grew sad, sighing she picked up the remains of her wooden table. "Mum, it's okay, I'll do it." Joan made to walk out to get a bag,

"No, it's alright dear," Helen tried to smile, "I will." Joan nodded, best not argue, she doesn't look in a great mood, Joan thought. She grabbed her scarf and walked out of the door.

~

Joan walked and walked. Just walking. Trying to remember what happened last night. Trying to understand. He loved her. God loved her, and for some weird reason I remind Him of her. Joan stopped, she loved Him too, she thought, remembering the kiss she saw. But, did she love God, or did she love the face he was in? Joan then realised… "BUT THIS IS GOD!" she shouted, not knowing she had shouted out aloud. She felt a small tug at her scarf, turning around she saw a little girl with brown hair, brown doe eyes and holding a small red ball, 

"Shush!" she said, holding a small finger to her lips, "the lady in that house over there," she pointed at a small flat, "is resting, she's got a big job interview in an hour."

Joan bend down and whispered, "God?" God grinned,

"That's my name Joan, don't wear it out." Joan failed to see the humour,

"Your name was worn out centuries ago." God didn't say anything. Joan couldn't hold back, "You loved her didn't You? And she loved You." God nodded, and the little brown fringe covered Her eyes, She brushed it out,

"Yes." Joan, taken back, didn't have anything else to say, so she tossed her scarf and continued to walk, aimlessly. God skipped ahead, "You didn't expect me to say that didn't you Joan." Joan turned to Her,

"No, I didn't, I mean… are You allowed to love like that? Was she? I mean… You said Yourself, You are not a familiar 'thing', that's why You appear to us as… people. Right?"

God breathed, "Allowed? Of course! I am God!" Joan stared at the little girl, more wisdom in her doe eyes than any man on earth, yet… somehow clueless.

"Question then," Joan said,

God stood still, "Shoot" She said. Joan looked into Her eyes,

"Did Joan love the face You were in? Or did she love You, God, as the being, as a lover." Joan finished; God took a deep breath,

"When I kissed you last night Joan, you kissed Me back, was that because of My face, or because of Me?" 'Dammit' Joan thought, and she whispered,

"I'm not sure."

God smiled, "Get back to me when you're sure Joan. In the meantime, study… study for the test on Joan of Arc. I'm sure you can ace it. That is all." God finished. Joan nodded, God took Joan's' hand in Her own small ones, "You can do anything Joan, I know it, just have faith." She let go of Joan's hand and skipped off, throwing and catching the red ball in the air, then finally disappearing behind a tree. Joan took a deep breath and continued walking, to the library.

"Okay God, whatever You say, whatever You say." Joan said.

~END~


End file.
